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Things People Said in Court
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are
things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now
published by court reporters who had the torment of biting their lip to
stay calm while these exchanges were taking place.
Q: Are you sexually active? A: No, I just lie there.
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Q: What is your date of birth? A: July 15. Q: What year? A: Every year.
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Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? A: Gucci sweats
and Reeboks.
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Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes. Q:
And in what ways does it affect your memory? A: I forget. Q: You forget?
Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
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Q: How old is your son, the one living with you? A: Thirty-eight or
thirty-five, I can't remember which. Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
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Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up
that morning? A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" Q: And why did that upset
you? A: My name is Susan.
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Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the
occult? A: We both do. Q: Voodoo? A: We do. Q: You do? A: Yes, voodoo.
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Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he
does know about it until the next morning? A: Did you actually pass the
bar exam?
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Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
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Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
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Q: So the date of conception of the baby was August 8th? A: Yes. Q: And
what were you doing at that time?
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Q: She had three children, right? A: Yes. Q: How many were boys? A:
None. Q: Were there any girls?
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Q: How was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose
death was it terminated?
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Q: Can you describe the individual? A: He was about medium height and
had a beard. Q: Was this a male, or a female?
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Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition which I
sent to your attorney? A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
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Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A: All
my autopsies are performed on dead people.
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Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? A: Yes. Q: What school did you
go to? A: Oral.
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Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? A: The autopsy
started around 8:30 p.m. Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time? A:
No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
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Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
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Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No. Q: Did you check for blood pressure? A: No. Q: Did you check for
breathing? A: No. Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive
when you began the autopsy? A: No. Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor? A:
Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. Q: But could the
patient have still been alive, nevertheless? A: Yes, it is possible that
he could have been alive, practicing law somewhere.
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contributed by mec
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