TOP TEN CADDY COMMENTS

10. Golfer: "I think I'm going to drown myself in the lake." 
Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?" 

9. Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 90 here." 
Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth." 

8. Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?" 
Caddy: "Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now." 

7. Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?" 
Caddy: "Eventually." 

6. Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world." 
Caddy: "I don't think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence." 

5. Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's too much of a distraction." 
Caddy: "It's not a watch - it's a compass." 

4. Golfer: "How do you like my game?" 
Caddy: "Very good sir, but personally, I prefer golf." 

3. Golfer: "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?" 
Caddy: "The way you play, sir, it's a sin on any day." 

2. Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on." 
Caddy: "This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago." 

1. Golfer: "That can't be my ball, it's too old." 
Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir."

contributed by jfk